More often than not, when embarking on a journey of healing and self-discovery, you will face the need for change. This can take many different forms such as changing how you perceive things, leaving a relationship that does not support you or stopping giving your energy away freely. Whatever it may be, if you do not want change, you will not be able to move forward. Are you sure you want to change?
I was scared to get better. I was getting comfort from suffering. I had an identity that felt supportive. It was far easier to remain where I was.
How can I ask this? It is surprising how many embark on this journey only to reach a point later on when results have not been achieved, and much energy has been exhausted when only to admit to yourself, I want to remain exactly where I am. I know many well-being or energy workers who work with clients would have seen this. Someone is initially intent and highly focused on wanting change, but when the cards are on the table realise they are happy where they are. I know I have. In fact, I have even experienced this myself.
If you have read my story, you would have read that for a time (over a number of years) my health was very frail. I had completely exhausted myself and was suffering. I would go as far to say the suffering I was experiencing at the time was very near my limits. I had entered a pattern that kept me in my suffering. You see I had labeled myself as sick. I had gone further to call myself a sufferer of this and that. I had updated my social media profiles affirming this. I joined groups where I could talk about my suffering. Please don’t get me wrong, talking about your problems and venting is extremely important. The thing was, if I am being honest, I was not venting or sharing information to help others. I was using these platforms to define and label myself. I was Craig, the sufferer of this and that - how terrible for him - isn’t he brave. It brought me comfort. It defined me and held me in a self-perpetuating cycle of asserting my suffering.
I was stuck in this cycle for a long time. I had to ask myself, did I really want to get better and move forward? The answer was always YES! Of course, I did. Well, the problem was that if I am honest, I didn’t. I was scared to get better. I was getting comfort from suffering. I had an identity that felt supportive. It was far easier to remain where I was. This took me a long while to figure out and be honest with myself. With hindsight, I wish I had not wasted so much energy on this.
Energetically, by holding on to anything that you know does not serve you or breaks you down you are causing separation. It creates a counter intention (What is intention?), which causes more of the same patterns to manifest in your life until you do finally want the change and wholeness in your life.
One of the most damaging things you can do is to define or label yourself as being sick, broken or not whole. Labels in this sense are anything that you define yourself as. If you call yourself a sufferer of a certain disease or any other label (your definition of yourself) that makes that illness yours, you are limiting the ability to change (What box are you in?). Even worse you are putting this out into the universe as intention.
Be mindful of the words you use to describe how you are feeling, your diagnoses or the current state of life. Naturally, there are times you will need to say what it is you may have. Times you will want to support others by sharing your story. Just be mindful that this is not a label that you believe in or identify yourself with. Rather see it as a mask that you can put on and then take off.
Are you sure you want to change?