The 10 Signs You Are Trying To Control An Outcome aims to see if there are any areas of your life you may be controlling an outcome. We are addicted to control. Our society honours those who structure, plan and exert their authority and will on theirs and others lives. We are taught from a very early age that we must have goals and that if you want to be a success (which is a given), you must have a plan and stick to it. Never give up and always achieve it.
You can’t control your life and the world around you. Control is an illusion.
Now not all plans are wrong, of course. But when we think we can control all aspects of our lives and outcomes, we are faced with a problem. Control is an illusion. We can’t control our lives and the world around us. The more we try and control an outcome we are causing resistance to life. Energetically this is when we are not growing spiritually (energetic stagnation), and life will always seek to address this - often through a sudden change.
Controlling an outcome is ego (What is the ego and what does it do?) driven. The reality we perceive is presented to us by our ego based on past events. This again shows that control is an illusion which is based on what our ego presents to us. It is not reality.
Interestingly, when working with intention, we are taught that we must not control the outcome. This is because we could never properly anyway, but the universe will give you what is needed in the way it is best done. It is a fundamental part of the law of attraction. Put it out there but don’t control how it is provided.
The following 10 signs you are trying to control an outcome may help you identify if you are attempting to control an outcome. Spend some quiet time thinking about these signs and then watch for any signs in the coming days. Some signs can be very subtle, so watch carefully!
1. Obsessive planning where you try to plan for every eventuality, possibility, and consequence. This may lead to manipulating those around you to achieve the desired outcome due to the obsessive need to have exactly what was planned.
2. The need to have a full diary is a subtle way of controlling how you feel or how you want to feel. Could being excessively busy and social be trying to hide an aversion to being alone? If so then this is an attempt to control that without dealing with any underlying issue.
3. Any form of manipulation is an attempt to control a situation the way you want. Manipulation, again, can be very subtle. Look out for any signs of wanting to change someone's thoughts, actions, and perceptions.
4. Trying to shape your children into the person you want.
5. Tracking everything in your daily life as if managing a project such as a diet to a number of likes on Facebook.
6. Storytelling can be a sign of many things including a need to control an outcome. It is a form of manipulation that seeks to change how someone thinks and acts dictated by the story that is told.
7. Drama, similar to storytelling, is another form of manipulation that seeks to control an outcome by forcing a change in a situation or someone's actions. You may be interested in the blog post why being a drama queen is bad for your wellbeing.
8. ‘It’s only business’ is often used as an excuse to get what you want in a business setting. This excuse is used to control an outcome often in ways that are Machiavellian.
9. Manipulating customer service staff to get a good deal or something free. This is usually done pre-meditatively and in ways that psychically attack the customer service agent dealing with the issue.
10. Stalking or obsessively checking up on someone. How often do we hear of someone stalking an ex on social media to learn what they are up to? The need to know this information is an example of seeking to control an outcome.
These are only a few ways you may be trying to control an outcome. It does require a lot of honesty and a willingness to look at yourself in the mirror. However, with a little persistence, a need for controlling an outcome can be reduced and allow for a far more abundant and rewarding life. There are also distant attunements that may be beneficial in letting go of the past and situations.
These are only 10 signs you are trying to control an outcome. Can you think of any other examples of a need to control?